Washington, D.C.--In another magnanimous gesture, Dr. Fauci has once again recommended Covid-19 policies that will save the American people, and eventually the world. He most recently addressed potential solutions for dealing with any backwards folks claiming the existence of a right to consent in medical treatment. Suggestions included separating unvaccinated individuals into their own bathrooms and water fountains, placing them at the rear of public transit vehicles, and preventing allowance of home loans in certain areas of LA.
“Science shows everyone wants a vaccine,” the Covid champion declared, “but if they don't, we'll show they're not as important.” He proudly reminded the audience of his previous vindication: “when I commanded wearing two masks even after getting vaccinated, look how well everyone listened!”
When questioned on how his suggestions might impact individual rights, a rare display of irritation arose. “The right has been the problem all along,” Fauci growled. He quickly added, more gently, “of course an individual has rights. But they are inferior to our perspective on policy at any given time.”
Dr. Fauci concluded by rhetorically asking, “Why would you question when I know what’s best for you?”
