Monday, April 26, 2021

Three Woke Little Pigs

     Once upon a time there lived an old mother pig with three little pigs. She became woke and her mind was opened, now fully aware these unrelated little pigs were not pulling their own weight in her society, and she could no longer gather enough food to feed them all. So she declared a crisis and exacted a tax, where each of the pigs now had a choice: contribute a fair share to feed her, go off their own ways, or be free to starve. The three little pigs immediately scurried away. They had not a care in the world as they scampered off, since they were each of unique backgrounds, possessed self-worth and confidence, and through their diversity exemplified the epitome of equity.
     The first pig felt that because he was raised in a system that never allowed him an opportunity, he deserved something to make up for it. But woe was him! his self-worth did not match his environment. Since nobody was there to provide for him, he was forced to act on his own, most unfairly. His mindset was righteous; he deserved help from someone else, but he was lazy and decided to make a house as easy as possible until someone came along to help him/ He gathered straw, and through a day of painstaking efforts built a ramshackle house. He spent the next month clamoring about how difficult he had it.
     The second pig was not as lazy, but felt that he too deserved something to make up for never being allowed an opportunity to make something for himself. So while complaining about it, he made something for himself. His confidence enabled him to build a house of sticks, but his lack of knowledge and attention to detail meant it only took three days, being less than solid. After that he fretted loudly about how he deserved a house like any other pig.
     The last little pig had something wrong with him. He strangely failed to consider his circumstances, and proceeded to make bricks, mortar, decorative wood fascia, a pig iron gate and stove without so much as a murmur. He learned skills to construct a solid home and did so over a month. The first two pigs mocked him until the house began to take shape, then they self-righteously criticized how much he had and how poorly they lived. The foolish third pig did not even respond about his industrious behavior unfairly landing him in a better situation.
     A month later, as the third pig finished his home, a big bad wolf happened by the pigs’ community. Upon approaching the straw house he smelled the pig inside. He knocked on the door and said, “Little pig, little pig, let me in!” But the little pig saw the wolf's large claws scratching under the door and said, “No, no, no, not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!”
     The wolf showed his teeth and said, “then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in!” So he huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down, snapping his jaws at the squealing pig, who luckily escaped to join the second pig in his house of sticks.
     Trotting down the lane, the wolf stopped and knocked on the second pig’s door. “Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!” The pigs replied, “No, no, no, not by the hairs on our chinny chin chins!” So the wolf said again, “then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in!” And he huffed and he puffed and he blew the house in, but upon trying to snatch both pigs at once failed to get either, and they scampered to the brick house, where the third pig gallantly heard their plight and let them in just before the wolf caught up.
     The wolf was frustrated and hungry and misunderstood. The pigs began blaming all their problems on him. “Wolves are the reason I was never able to accomplish anything,” the first pig whined. The second chimed in, “he always tries to get what he wants, just like the pigs who can afford nice houses like this.” With that comment they both glared at the third pig, who had left his stove to get something from a closet. They thought, this house was already built, why did they need the third pig now?
     “You’re to blame for the wolf attacking us like this!” The first pig shouted. The second declared, "we've voted, 2 to 1, that you don't help our society!" He responded, “but that doesn’t make any sense, I let you in here and even have a way to protect us from—“ but before he could finish or get whatever it was from the closet, the first two pigs threw him in the kettle on the stove. Jubilantly, they congratulated each other on their democratic vote causing a win for the just.
     The wolf realized no amount of huffing and puffing could blow the brick house down, but would bring a strong man to his knees, so he decided on another strategem. He called out, "Free government checks!" The two little pigs quickly opened the door and rushed into the wolf's waiting, watering mouth.